choices

What do you do when you're at a crossroads?

Do you decide to take the leap or do you turn back around?

Do you stay where you're comfortable or do you plunge straight into the unknown?

I have always been indecisive. Not as indecisive as Chidi from The Good Place, but still kinda bad. It's always worse when it comes to life-altering decisions. I sit there and I weigh my options when it comes to a point that I'm overthinking everything. Yes, it's better that I'm not impulsive, but sometimes I do wish I had the chops to just say "fuck it." Sadly, I'll admit my indecisiveness has hindered me from doing certain things in my life.

At this moment, I'm in a heated debate with myself. I have the choice to do something completely insane. I have the chance to get out of my seemingly stagnant life and go explore a whole different city. In theory, that sounds amazing. It sounds like everything I've been wanting. If I leave, I have nothing to lose - but, I also have everything to lose.

Los Angeles is my home. Life as I know it, is here. It's scary to think that I could just easily leave it all behind. For the longest time, I've had a love/hate relationship with the city of angels. Traffic sucks. The commute is hell. Everything is expensive. Cities are so far spaced out. But my friends and family are here. My job is here. The local music scene that I've worked so hard to be a part of is here. The assurance is here.

But this new place, my god, this new place! If everything goes according to plan, this new place has my dream - well, one of them at least. It has new experiences, new people, new places, a gorgeous city and an amazing music scene I have yet to dive into. Just imagining it all makes my heart race.

I don't know. It's scary. The unknown is scary. There's that conversation between two people that's been on my mind for the last two weeks:

"What if it all goes wrong?"

"Ah, but what if it all goes right?"

I know I can do it. I have reasons why I shouldn't do it, but I also have a million little reasons why I should do it. The only person stopping me from making this leap is myself. And there's nothing worse than your own self telling you, you can't do it.

So what do I do? Do I go balls to the wall and say "fuck it" or do I stay and try to make a change here in my bubble of comfort?

What would you do?